"Learn from your past, don't live in it"

Inserting red flag here: This post is from my perspective. All opinion(s) written below are my own. 

I would just like to say that I am guilty of holding grudges for a long period of time and I let my past control what I do in the present. The past has a huge impact on the decisions I make today and it molds my values and beliefs. So do not read this post and think I am a strong individual who has his life under control, because I am in the same or even worse position than you, the reader, are at the moment. You might be thinking, "Why are you making a blog post about not living in your past if you live in your past?" I would first like to say that you have a point, however, I see this blog post as a letter to myself. I will come on my blog page every day, and I will look at this post and it will remind me that past experiences and events don't control my present. But enough of this self-reflection, lets get back to what this blog post is actually about. 

The problem I tend to see people, including myself, have is that they have a series of bad events or conflicts and the outcome of those events and conflicts causes some type of internal shock. This internal shock now resides with you for a huge period of time controlling what you say, do, and think because you know you don't want the same outcomes to come again. You, the viewer of this blog, is probably wondering what I am talking about? The best way to explain is to demonstrate it is through an example. An example can be that you gave advice to your friend that backfired and your friend got extremely angry at you. Due to this situation, the outcome became a burden on you, and you decided that from now on you wouldn't give people advice because it causes fewer complications. Yes, I agree that this does cause fewer complications because the reality is that you should not be interfering in other peoples conflicts and you're not their spiritual adviser. Your friend, family, significant others and side hoes, should be solving their own problem themselves and you should be going on through your day without that complication. However, it doesn't always work that way because that same friend comes back to you for advice even though it didn't end well the last time you gave advice. You are now in a predicament because your past experience is weighing down on you telling you not to give advice while your friend is standing in front of you asking you for advice. If you say no, it will cause an issue. If you give advice and it backfires again, it will also cause an issue. Now your past is weighing down on your present situation, and you are stuck. What do you do? You use your past experience as a learning experience and you let it go. You do not forget it, and you just stop it from controlling your current situation. What would I do if I was in your position? I give advice if I can and I will explain in very stern words that this advice is my opinion, and I am not telling or advising your friend to take it. Any decisions that your friend makes due to the advice I gave, is fully their responsibility and if they get upset like the previous time, I will no longer be in-service as a friend or adviser. Now you must be thinking, "What did you learn from your past experience?". It's quite clear, by saying what I said, you have learned to communicate better with your friend that the past situation was unacceptable and you will not accept the same outcome this time. Furthermore, you have made it clear that the advice is just advice, you are not forcing any decisions upon them. They have to make the decision themselves. Thus, you have learned quite a lot from a past situation without it burdening and stopping you from doing something in the present situation. 

What was the point of this blog post? If I were to give you an honest answer, there is a reason your past is called the past. It should not intertwine with your present and pull you down. It does not mean that you keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again because I am telling you to not let your past control you. If you know that a past situation does not have a solution and its best to avoid the situation overall, then by all mean do it. Our lives are too short to be having constant drama or causing conflicts over and over again due to the same scenario that happened in the past. Learn from your past experience and let that learning experience help you approach life from a different perspective.